Mad Libs with the Durarara!! Cast

ESTURD: Hello, hello, hello. Welcome, one and all. Today we have some very special guests. Everyone, welcome the cast of Durarara!!

Ahem, well, only part of the cast. We forgot everyone else’s names, so unfortunately we couldn’t invite them. But that’s okay–it’s not like they did anything anyway! For now, meet Celty  Sturluson, Izaya Orihara, and Shizuo Heiwajima.

[polite applause]

ESTURD: I’m sorry, which one of you is the main character again? Or is it all three of you?

CELTY (typing): I think you’ve got the wrong–

[IZAYA laughs. Er, cackles.]

IZAYA: You humans are so entertaining!

ESTURD: Well, uh, anyway, we’ve prepared a game for you. Ever heard of Mad Libs?

[The three look confused.]

ESTURD: I guess not. That’s all right–you’ll see what it’s all about very soon. First, give me the name of a person in the room.

CELTY (typing): Shizuo Heiwajima.

IZAYA: Does Celty count as a person? She’s not exactly human, you know…

ESTURD: You know what I meant. All right, Celty Sturluson for you…

[IZAYA’s comment seems to enrage SHIZUO.]

SHIZUO: IZAYAAAAA!!!!!

[SHIZUO lifts nearby car and throws it at IZAYA. Destruction ensues.]

ESTURD: Okay. Thank you for respon–whoa, that’s the grand prize! Please, Mr. Heiwajima, Mr. Orihara, kindly conduct yourselves properly. This is national television!

SHIZUO: …sorry.

ESTURD: Next, an adjective, verb, and part of body…

CELTY: Headless, head is a verb right? … and head.

IZAYA: Boring. For the adjective, although I must admit I am bored as well. Ah, what else did you need? A verb… how about ‘kill.’

ESTURD: And a part of the body.

IZAYA: Heart.

ESTURD: Heart? Interesting. Why heart?

IZAYA: Because I have such a big one. I love each and every human, after all!

[More laug–er, cackling.]

ESTURD: Ah, uh, all right. Thank you, Mr. Orihara. And you, Mr. Heiwajima?

SHIZUO: I don’t see why I need to do this. Why do I have to put up with him?

[glares]

ESTURD: It’s for the viewers! Just think of all your fans. I’m sure they’d love to hear what you come up with.

SHIZUO: …fine. Angry, smash, bones.

ESTURD: Thank you. Okay, I’ve got six more. Give me what you’ve got.

[an hour later]

ESTURD: That… took longer than expected.

SHIZUO: So. What was the point of all this.

ESTURD: Ahem, without further ado, let me present to you Mad Libs: Shizuo, Izaya, and Celty style! Edited for grammar, of course.

Dear Shizuo,

You are extremely Headless and I Head [towards] you! I want to kiss your Head Ten times. You make my Bike burn with desire. When I first saw you, I Darkly stared at you and fell in love. Will you Forget out with me? Don`t let your parents discourage you, They are just jealous.

Yours forever, Celty

Dear Celty,

You are extremely Boring and I Kill you! I want to kiss your Heart 666 times. You make my Cards burn with desire. When I first saw you, I Predictably stared at you and fell in love. Will you Play out with me? Don`t let your parents discourage you, We are just jealous.

Yours forever, Izaya

Dear IZAAAYAAAA!!!,

You are extremely Angry and I Smash you! I want to kiss your Bones One time. You make my Truck burn with desire. When I first saw you, I Stiffly stared at you and fell in love. Will you Break out with me? Don`t let your parents discourage you, They are just jealous.

Yours forever, Shizuo

SHIZUO: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??

ESTURD: I’m sorry! This is the Love Letter Mad Libs. I’d heard that Durarara’s core theme is twisted love so I just thought–

SHIZUO: NOOOOOOOO!!!

[Last shot is of SHIZUO’s angry face. Then blackness.]

My Lord, what have I done.

(Mad Lib from Mad Takes. Thank you for indulging my whims.)

 

 

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